“When I was asked to write a little about about where I am now in life, it made me really reflect on the last 3 years since I made that “it gets better” video. It made me pause and ask myself, ‘has it really gotten better? Do I like where my life has taken me and where I am headed?’ I became teary eyed when I realized just how much better it really has gotten. I won’t say that things were bliss after making that video. I was out publicly after that video and I know I ruffled a lot of feathers. I had a very hard couple years after that. I was in and out very dark places and didn’t really know who I was or what I wanted. I remember crying myself to sleep countless nights because I felt so alone and lost and isolated. I pushed my family away and my best friends. I was very anti-Mormon for awhile and was angry more often than not. I went months and months without talking to my family and I had zero relationship with any of them. I was in some really unhealthy relationships, and was assaulted because of my sexuality. It was the hardest two years of my life and the darkest.
Where am I now? What are things like now days?
I have been with my amazing, beautiful, kind and compassionate girlfriend for almost a year now. She is from Connecticut and moved out to Utah for work. We met shortly after she moved to Utah and have been dating ever since. She is adorable and treats me like gold. I love her with my whole heart. I can honestly say I am happier than I ever have been in my life thus far.
I am not religious at all, but consider myself a very spiritual person. I connect to my higher power in new ways and in ways that work for me and make me feel complete and feel full of purpose and worth. I live my life authentic and do not let shame or hatred have a place in my heart any longer.
My family has made a 180 and I talk with my mom multiple times a day now. We are very close! I cried tears of joy when my parents invited my girlfriend and I over for Easter dinner. All my siblings and I were looking for our Easter baskets (Easter tradition) and then my mom says to my girlfriend, “don’t you want to find yours too?!” Warm tears of love and kindness and charity streamed down my cheeks as my girlfriend smiled brightly and began searching for her own Easter basket filled with treats and a new shirt from H&M.
My family remains very active in the LDS church and makes sure we are invited to every family event and dinner. I am grateful for their love and support. It has made a massive impact on my life for the good.
I am going to graduate from the University of Utah’s paramedic program in 2016. I want to become an Air-Med paramedic.
Things were not easy. They still are not always easy. But they are 100x better than they were. I am grateful I kept fighting and holding on and sticking to what my heart was telling me was true. Life is beautiful when I am living authentically my best self and with the woman I love most in the world.”